| Fresh
Air
I guess if there is one over riding factor that
will contribute to a lack of participation in many outdoor pursuits
it probably will be the demise of the active role of fathering in
America. Don’t get me wrong ladies, I know that there are
many of you who enjoy outdoor activities and in some instances and
situations are more immersed and active in them than males. But,
for the most part, it is males that most wholeheartedly indulge
in many outdoor sporting, recreational and simple leisure activities.
It is that concept that I want to address in this week’s article,
and it is the role of fathering that I wish to honor and once again
uplift to its rightful position, at least during these brief thoughts.
My wife learned a love of traveling and camping
from her parents. Being from one of the most popular states for
camping, Michigan, Jill experienced the outdoors from childhood.
More weekends than she can remember her dad would hustle home on
Friday afternoon, following a tedious week of work, hook up the
camping trailer, and away they would go. Oftentimes it was to a
state park within a couple of hours driving time. Then as she grew
older and her parents grew more experienced in camping, it became
farther and farther away. Add to that vacations with out of state
excursions, even as far as Canada (which really wasn’t that
far from most parts of Michigan) and Maine (now that’s a trip).
When my wife and I began our relationship, she was the old pro at
camping and I was the novice. It was her experiences with her parents
and most notably with her dad in the fishing boat, that left an
indelible impression in her mind and on her life. It also became
the source of inspiration (or should I say insight) for me to learn
where some great parks and fishing rivers were located, particularly
in Michigan’s upper peninsula. It was on those same rivers
and creeks outlets that she and I taught our three sons how to haul
in frisky small mouth bass and mouth-watering walleyes. It was in
some of those same state parks that she stayed in as a child that
we in turn took our children to and watched raccoons raiding camp
sights in the night and bears visiting garbage dumps.
While my folks never indulged in camping, my
dad took us fishing as children. In the fifties and early sixties
there were many open spots around lakes outside of the Detroit area
where bank fishing was permitted. I caught a lot of blue gill in
those days, using equipment that my father had cut his teeth on
as a child in Arkansas. A long cane pole with a nice bobber and
a big juicy worm and watch out mister fish. Dad started me and the
love of the sport captured me. I graduated to those old big closed-faced
Zebco reels (you know with numbers like 202, etc.) and fiberglass
poles. Doesn’t it seem like such a long, long time ago when
fishing was more fun than serious work (well I guess it was a long,
long time ago for me)? Those early years of memories planted something
in my life that germinated during the growing up years I had with
my sons. Like I had been taught, I baited their hooks and taught
them the techniques (though understandably with newer and better
equipment) to catch fish. They are presently teaching their children
likewise.
While our mothers approved or at least grudgingly
agreed to many of our woodsy things, it was our fathers that waded
in without hesitation to blaze us a trail for our adventures. Everyone
needs fathers like that, not distant but close, not tolerating but
enjoying their children, not enduring youth but embracing it as
a great opportunity to implant memories and mold character. Dads
who take their kids fishing, or sitting in blind with them during
deer season, or setting up the tent. Dads who volunteer a weekend
for the boy scouts, or who pick hiking trails to follow or a river
to canoe. Dads who teach work ethics like cutting grass (something
my father taught me well on a half-acre with a push mower), or chopping
firewood. Dads who teach responsibility with animals like pets and
livestock and comfort to their child when their pet dies or is killed.
But, in this present society, fatherhood (not just being able to
produce a child, but to nurture, protect and rear) is on the decline.
There are those who think that fathers are not needed therefore
missing the unique blend and stability that only a combination of
both having mom and dad can create in a child. There are men who
simply didn’t have a dad or one who fathered well and so does
not realize what they have missed and therefore does not understand
how desperately important a dad is to a child. But it is no mistake
that most girls look for a spouse like their daddy, and most boys
mature into the image of their father.
So on this Father’s Day weekend I just
wanted to say thanks to my dad for being the great father that he
has been. Dad is over 75 now and fighting infirmity. But in my mind
he is still that fellow, who took the rabbits and pheasants out
of my traps and taught me how to skin, clean and cook them. He still
is the spry youthful man who strapped on a pair of ice skates and
taught his children how to skate on the frozen lakes along Edward
Hines Drive. He still is taking his family on vacations, visiting
caves and pointing out blind catfish in underwater rivers, and watching
water run uphill in troughs on Mystery Hill. Dad still knows and
still shows me how to cut grass and clean a yard, and how to plant
flowers, elephant ears and tomatoes. In her mind's eye, Jill’s
dad, though even a bit older and cobbled about in retirement in
Florida, still carefully maintains his camping equipment. He washes
the trailer and fixes the boat. He follows that big bubble-floating
compass fixed on his dashboard (some of you haven’t a clue
what I just wrote about), and he circles the campsites looking for
just the right level and roomy spot to park his camper. He still
bundles up the firewood and creates a fire that the family sits
before for hours into the night, talking, giggling, eating hot dogs
and some mores. Jill’s dad has not one but several big pike
hooked in succession and what excitement as they try to get them
into the net at the boat’s side. And the laughter and the
memories last forever.
Guys what an awesome and treasured position
to be in as a father. Work at it and accomplish it well, the actual
hands on time with the little ones doesn’t last that long,
but the results last for generations. Happy Father’s Day to
all our good dads out there. Children, the number one gift on Father’s
Day is a tie, but I suggest that you buy something for dad that
involves him doing something with you. Things like a combination
fishing pole set, or a season launching pass at East Lake or Mill
Creek, or some tickets to a Cubs or Cardinals baseball game. Maybe
even something as simple as some graham crackers, Nestles Chocolate
bars and marshmellows will send the message (if you don't know what
they add up to, you really need to go camping). Whatever it is,
make it something that you can do together and you will you learn
lessons from your father that you will not forget.
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